Russian joke of the week

Two news for the captain

— Капита́н, у меня́ две но́вости!
— Бо́цман, не тяни, начина́й с хоро́шей.
— У нас на борту́ ни одно́й кры́сы!

In English

- Captain, I have two news!
- Boatswain, come on, start with a good one.
- We don't have a single rat on board!
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