Russian joke of the week

A lesson about Orthodox culture

Уро́к «Осно́вы правосла́вной культу́ры». Учи́тельница:
— И по́мните, де́ти! Те, кто бу́дет учи́ться на «4» и «5», попаду́т в рай. А те, кто бу́дет учи́ться на «2» и «3», — в ад!
Вовочка с за́дней па́рты:
— Мариванна, а что, зако́нчить шко́лу живы́м ника́к?

In English

During a lesson about the foundations of Orthodox culture.

Marivanna (Teacher):
– And remember, children! Those who get “4” and “5” (high grades) will go to heaven. And those who get “2” and “3” (low grades) – to hell!

Vovochka asks from the back of the classroom:
– Marivanna, is there any chance to graduate alive at all?

Footnote

Marivanna is a short version of Maria Ivanovna. In the Russian jokes, she is the teacher of Vovochka, popular jokes character.
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